I am posting this in the “Self-love” category because self-love is what self-loathing screams for. And self-love is possible, at first perhaps only fleetingly, but with time and nurturing, it grows. (…oh yes, and did I ever mention that drawing yourself can help? )
If you’ve suffered from an eating disorder, addictions, a handicap, illness – mental or physical – or any other major emotional challenge that makes you less than glowingly in adoration of yourself (to say the least!), then you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes it gets really bad. But it’s always better when it’s expressed. When kept inside, it rots and festers.
I found this drawing stashed away in a drawer, and just knew I had to share it, not because it’s awesome but because it’s so real. And I am glad to say that this vision of things is not my only reality anymore, there are many more good days than bad ones, but sometimes the bad ones come back to remind me to keep up the good work 🙂
Apologies for the fuzzy cell phone photos, but trust me, you don’t really want to read all the nasty things I was writing about myself… hopefully you’ll get the gist that it was an angry rant against my apparent lack of worth. Not your typical shiny Instagram-worthy content, and yet I post it hoping that someone else who hears these mad words in their mind will see with a little distance how hurtful we can be to ourselves at our worst. And that better days always come around if we can find a little compassion for ourselves and see deeper than the surface. Our bodies are our best friends… it’s our minds we must train to see ourselves more clearly.
3 thoughts on “For those who know how bad it gets”
Love your honesty. I used to leave sticky notes with awful comments about my body during my worst time of my eating disorder. Learning to revision our bodies is a challenge, but it’s certainly worth it. Thank you for being so honest!!
Thanks for commenting Jenni. I’m thinking sticky notes with kind comments is a great idea. Little reminders of the positives to quiet the negativity. One thought can ruin my day, so surely a few well-placed loving reminders can make it better!
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Definitely!! Sending love and support too!